8 - On Revelation🍎
Psychic wounds, icy wind tunnels, scrying and power-from-within.
I begin this dispatch in the Ezeiza airport, watching tired travellers disembark from the plane that I am about to board to fly back to Toronto. We’re delayed by 5 hours due to a mix of heavy snowstorms, something mechanical and la argentinidad, which runs on its own Time©.
Now back in Toronto, I sit at my desk and reopen my laptop, surrounded by random ephemera: a headphone adaptor, glasses with a broken frame that Viktor has re-glued twice, a yellow sticky note with some flowers drawn on it and three oracle cards - the last of which is ‘The Spring’ and reveals a barefoot woman in flowing robes peering into the water. Big wishful thinking, what with these soiled piles of snow and slush blocking the sidewalk underneath my window.
I woke up at 5am again today, unintentionally. I’ve been having these spells recently, waking up at ~ ungodly ~ hours (3-4-5am) and I haven’t deciphered whether it’s nervousness moving through, or simply my body syncing to a new frequency. Some personal research into Traditional Chinese Medicine reveals that my lungs and digestive organs are overworked, and that I’m processing grief, guilt, perfectionism, and yearning. Some days I’m okay with it and complete my entire day’s tasks by noon. Today is a bit more of a struggle.
Loosely influenced by the major Tarot arcanas, this newsletter is a way of tuning into life’s synchronicities, and the archetypes I encounter and embody in my every day. Today’s dispatch looks at the regal, unmoving, all-powerful Justice which - in all sincerity- is not a card I resonate deeply with. I’m of the opinion that the justice system (in Canada, in Argentina, in so many countries, everywhere??) is mostly smoke and mirrors, a set of self-gratifying pillars that justify violence, idolize individualism, and beg for a total collapse in order to truly make any expansive social and political change. Witnessing war, genocide, famine, poverty, wildfires, the rotating screens of missing women and girls before passing through airport security and the tremendous pelotudeces those we call presidents and prime ministers spew into the void is enraging, disappointing, exhausting. The fury is real.
The realization that we make our own justice also is.
In Truth or Dare: Encounters with Power, Authority and Mystery, American author and activist Starhawk distinguishes three types of power: "power-over," referring to domination and control; "power-from-within," meaning personal ability and spiritual integrity; and "power-with," pertaining to social power or influence among equals. This definition has altered my entire way of thinking, and continues to inform how I approach, act and react to the world around me. Peeling back the layers and understanding that power does not equate with oppression is challenging but oh-so worth it. Learning that there is a softer and stronger power that takes so much more intimacy! patience! and courage! is everything. This is my north star.
I went for a walk in the neighbourhood a couple days ago to readapt myself (mind, body, spirit) to this hemisphere, and the icy wind tunnel that is Toronto’s west end. At that moment, I hadn’t seen any friends or family yet so I was feeling sad, lonely and a little lost. I remember trying to make eye contact with the people I passed on the street, and being struck by how EACH and EVERY one averted their gaze. I stubbornly kept trying to catch their eye and continued to fail miserably, which irritated me to no end. What’s their problem!? It wasn’t until later that I realized this overwhelming anger I was feeling - like all emotions - is a lesson. A compass, if you will, that points towards a value I hold with utmost passion: connection. Something we all crave on this Earth. I also realized how deeply embedded my fear of not belonging is 🧿
Be it the state of the world or Mars in Retrograde, but in these past couple of weeks I’ve been holding more space than usual for psychic wounds like this one. It has made me more sensitive, yes - but most importantly more aware of when those around me are acting up - out of pain, discomfort, fear or insecurity. It’s empowering to observe with curiosity instead of blowing up (or shutting down). Dreams have been loud too, which always help me tune in to the joy of synchronicity and little aha! moments.
My gaze wanders back to the oracle card on my desk. I realize that “spring” doesn’t only refer to the season, but to a water spring, a natural formation where water that has been underground flows onto the surface. Where buried emotions and memories re-emerge into the flow of it all, feeding the cycle once more. I look closer at the woman, who is practicing the art of scrying: an ancient method of divination where one peers into water, a mirror or another medium with the intention of receiving visions that can offer personal guidance, prophecy or revelation. She reminds me of the blindfolded Lady Justice who intentionally covers her sight of the external world, holding up a set of scales in the eye of the storm, armed with only her intuition. Like the bushy haired thirteen year old gazing down at la cordillera de los Andes through the plane window, listening to Sum 41’s In Too Deep and destined to live between two very different worlds.
Perhaps this is the 4AM yearning… to slow down, to embrace this end-of-February stagnancy between Winter and Spring, to let the Truth, and nothing but the Truth find me instead of constantly armouring up to go out in search of it. By closing my eyes to the noise, the saturation of information, the irony of it all perhaps I can allow myself to just feel…
.🍎TO READ 🍎
I borrowed my mum’s copy of Man and His Symbols by Carl Jung, and have been slowly reading through the first chapter Approaching the Unconscious and his studies on dream analysis. Navigating the realm of dreams has been instrumental to my creative practice, divination and healing since I was a teenager, and I’m excited to learn directly from one of the greats, since I’ve mostly only studied with Jungian analysts and others. I’m this close to starting up my dream workshops and circles again, so write me if you’re interested in joining in :)
🍎TO WATCH🍎
Artist and healer Jen Maramba talking about the true A.I: Ancestral Intelligence. I love how lucidly she explains that artificial intelligence is designed for us to keep up with the inhuman speed of capitalism, and how reconnecting with our ancestral knowledge and medicine grounds us in our values so we may envision a better world for ourselves and future generations.
My favourite Youtuber Mina Le did a video essay on why social media isn’t fun anymore and I found her personal internet timeline and analysis super interesting and informative, especially since I set the delusional intention of quitting by next year. Anyone else?
Cynthia Rhodes as Tina Tech dancing to Karon Kamon’s “Manhunt” in Flashdance (1983). I went to see it last week with some friends and it is the cheesiest, cringiest film, but the 80s stripper dance scenes are honestly 10/10.
And I can’t help but see the parallels in FKA Twigs’ music video for Striptease. A true artist.
🍎TO LISTEN🍎
My top album of 2025 so far is DÍA by Ela Minus. Seeing her perform last summer at MUTEK in Montréal was a whole other level of inspiring, and her latest project truly crumbles walls with a powerful expression of rage, healing and creative freedom. Big Justice and power-from-within vibes.
Audio, Video, Disco (2011) by Justice - obviously. I blasted this religiously at 6 AM on the colectivo heading to Sociology class at Ciudad Universitaria in Buenos Aires during my first year of university. I also just got tickets for their show in June and am EXCITED.
🍎UPCOMING EVENTS🍎
I just launched Antena Studios - an independent cultural space that offers events + workshops in the heart of west Toronto. I hosted a screening of 2000s Argentinean film Nueve Reinas last week, and will be hosting a clothing and book swap this Friday, February 28th from 5 - 8 PM. You can find all the info and RSVP here.
Love the article and all the recommendations! See you at the Justice concert. ;)